Over 10 years ago, I was in a relationship that I thought would lead to marriage. I was almost certain of it. I loved him, he loved me and we had everything in common-- but the relationship ended suddenly. It was like one day we were together and the next day it was over! No warning or signs pointing to its ending. Shortly after I had a dream. It was a beautiful day. He and I were riding in a cream colored two seat convertible on a long stretch of road. All of a sudden he mashed on the breaks and the car came to a complete stop. We both got out of the vehicle, walked around and stood at the front of the car. As we stood there the road ahead of us had fallen out down into the utter darkness. I looked down and could not see anything. Talk about fear! I was glad he stopped the vehicle otherwise we would have both fallen into the deep dark abyss! To add to the story I went to church and Bishop Noel Jones said, "If God had not ended the relationship, you would have fallen into a deep dark pit!" I was blown away...literally. So after the breakup-- three months later he marries someone he just met. He met her in December and they married in February when I had spent almost a year with him...my heart, my pride, everything...crushed. The love in my heart immediately turned to anger, rage and hatred. I went to God in prayer and He began to minister to my heart in a way I did not want. Everything I wanted God to say, He is not saying-- which means it's time to "grow up". The Holy Spirit instructed me to pray for my brother in Christ. He asked me to cover his new wife, children, and ministry. I refused...I told God no. I did not want to pray for him after what he did to me! But after I got over the emotion...I began to pray. Honestly, I cried as I prayed because my flesh did not want to...through the tears, I spoke blessings over his new family and all that concerned him. The Lord admonished me to pray for him EVERY TIME I had an angry thought regarding the situation. As soon as it came up in my heart, pray. I was obedient. After months and months of being true to the instruction, I looked up one day and it no longer bothered me. I was no longer angry. At the end of the day, God ended the relationship. It was His will for us to go our separate ways and I had to accept it with joy. Finally, after all of these years The Holy Spirit just let me know that it was not true love because if it was I would want him to be happy whether he was with me or not. True love is unconditional.
About Me
- Akilah
- Atlanta, GA, United States
- In this season, I will be sharing my heart.
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Unforgiveness
Over 10 years ago, I was in a relationship that I thought would lead to marriage. I was almost certain of it. I loved him, he loved me and we had everything in common-- but the relationship ended suddenly. It was like one day we were together and the next day it was over! No warning or signs pointing to its ending. Shortly after I had a dream. It was a beautiful day. He and I were riding in a cream colored two seat convertible on a long stretch of road. All of a sudden he mashed on the breaks and the car came to a complete stop. We both got out of the vehicle, walked around and stood at the front of the car. As we stood there the road ahead of us had fallen out down into the utter darkness. I looked down and could not see anything. Talk about fear! I was glad he stopped the vehicle otherwise we would have both fallen into the deep dark abyss! To add to the story I went to church and Bishop Noel Jones said, "If God had not ended the relationship, you would have fallen into a deep dark pit!" I was blown away...literally. So after the breakup-- three months later he marries someone he just met. He met her in December and they married in February when I had spent almost a year with him...my heart, my pride, everything...crushed. The love in my heart immediately turned to anger, rage and hatred. I went to God in prayer and He began to minister to my heart in a way I did not want. Everything I wanted God to say, He is not saying-- which means it's time to "grow up". The Holy Spirit instructed me to pray for my brother in Christ. He asked me to cover his new wife, children, and ministry. I refused...I told God no. I did not want to pray for him after what he did to me! But after I got over the emotion...I began to pray. Honestly, I cried as I prayed because my flesh did not want to...through the tears, I spoke blessings over his new family and all that concerned him. The Lord admonished me to pray for him EVERY TIME I had an angry thought regarding the situation. As soon as it came up in my heart, pray. I was obedient. After months and months of being true to the instruction, I looked up one day and it no longer bothered me. I was no longer angry. At the end of the day, God ended the relationship. It was His will for us to go our separate ways and I had to accept it with joy. Finally, after all of these years The Holy Spirit just let me know that it was not true love because if it was I would want him to be happy whether he was with me or not. True love is unconditional.
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