Friday, March 27, 2015
There have been times when I go into prayer and just sit there because I don’t have anything to say and then it seems as if God is silent. This use to frustrate me; I would try to muster up emotion to create an atmosphere, but even in that I would find myself growing weary and back into silence. Then I wondered if God was mad at me? I wondered if I had missed it someplace or am I just too overwhelmed in life to hear? Today it hit me. I need to be comfortable in the silence and accept that I don’t have to say anything. I don’t need to entertain, perform or say elaborate prayers to get God's attention. I only need to trust and believe God is there because He is everywhere. He doesn’t have to say anything or drop heavy revelation each and every time I enter into His presence. I need to trust and believe that He loves me and He cares, even in His silence He has not abandoned me, nor is He ignoring me; I can simply rest in His presence. Having this thought made me think of married couples who have been together for a period of time. It seems that many of them are simply comfortable in silence. You will see them out and about you know they love one another but they are not over doing it in their interactions together…they are just together. It has taken me years of being a Christian to understand this...so glad I got it now. Amen.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
I have not always been saved. The old girl will look for an opportunity to resurrect herself and get into some mess. So, I was at the movies last weekend with the girls and the theatre was practically empty. We were on the right row, but in the wrong seats. A couple comes in, male and female and the female starts cussing and going off--even dropped the "F" bomb about her seats. In my mind I am like "Lady! Just sit anywhere...the theatre is empty, not a BIG deal!" Then she starts talking about me like I am not hearing what she's saying, "I am not a good parent and what am I teaching the girls?"etc. Just going in on me...I am refuting her comments under my breath, "The devil is a liar!" But I still didn't say anything yet. So they sat down to the left of me, I was sitting next to her guy and he was trying to calm her down, but she refused to listen to him. I was as cool as a cucumber eating popcorn, looked over at her and back to the movie. I think "that" sent her over the edge. While she was still fussing and cussing ridiculously at this point and dropped the "F" bomb again I knew I was dealing with a demonic spirit, so I said "Holy Spirit, how should I handle this?" The old me was like," I wanna cuss!!! Let me handle her, slap her, shake her or SOMETHING!" LOL So I sat up and I looked over to her and said, "I apologize ma'am, we don't have a problem switching seats, but all this cussing and you talking about what kind of parent I am and what I am teaching my kids is out of line. You are being extremely disrespectful and rude. We are Christians and your language not acceptable." I pulled a Clair Huxtable on her. She sat there looking all pitiful and then got up and left the building. I just refused to get into it with anyone and ruin my "girl’s day out" with my babies. That incident could have gotten out of control. As I am typing this, the Lord reminded me "A soft answer turns away wrath" (Proverbs 15:1).
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
Sometimes it's not other people or the devil causing me to slip up and do the things I would rather not do or feel the way I feel, but it is simply the fact that I still have areas of my heart that have not been healed. Just today I asked God a question: I wondered why certain people I valued were no longer in my life? The answer I received was because of my codependency. We all have strengths and weaknesses, but I am extremely attracted to others who have strengths that I do not have. I feed on them like a leech sucking blood. Please do not get me wrong, it is fair to learn from those who know and have more than us, but I seem to lean on them in a codependent way in order to supplement my weaknesses, which eventually pushes them away and the friendship ends. God is bringing this to my attention because whenever I do that, I have made that person an idol. God is a jealous God and it is very easy to begin to worship people instead of The Lord. "And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.... (2 Corinthians 12:9) God's strength is what we need to make up for our weaknesses, not another person I could potentially drain and end up sabotaging the relationship. In this, The Lord requires for me and anyone who struggles in this area to stand on our own two feet, allowing Him to be our EVERYTHING! What does that mean? It means our God is all knowing, all powerful, and is everywhere at once. It means all we need is in Him. It means we are satisfied, filled with joy and at peace with Him and ourselves no matter what comes or goes because we understand His love for us and we trust Him at His word. Honestly, this requires lots of patience, practice and faith! That in itself can be challenging because we cannot physically see God or feel Him (with the exception of nature)...which takes us back to our faith. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen"....(Hebrews 11:1) so we MUST believe He is and what He says He is according to the word of God. Once we make up our minds to truly TRUST God with our weaknesses, we will no longer depend on people to make our lives okay. We will believe we have all that we need because we are in God and God is in us. And the people who come into our lives will be a blessing to us and we will be a blessing to them because there is no codependency, pressure or obligation. Everyone is free to be themselves, which in my opinion is how God would have it.
Saturday, March 21, 2015
Tuesday, March 17, 2015
There is a passage in the Bible that says "Delight yourself in The Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart". Spending time with God is not a chore for me. It is a delight to enter into His presence because He is so loving, so kind and so faithful. If I were honest, I have not always been in this position or felt this way. There were days where I knew I needed to pray but dreaded it for one reason or another. Now I realize, as a soldier of the Most High, I need to spend time with God whenever He calls me...even if it's 2 am. I believe that as we spend quality time with God, His desires will become our desires. Our agendas will line up with His will. I started writing today's blog because I wanted to formalize my list of what I desire in a mate. But as I am typing this, I feel the Holy Spirit nudging me to truly think about what I desire for my life. It's not always about another person, but it is about being and becoming the right person. For my life, I desire to be a woman of God who loves the Lord and represents Him well privately and publicly. I desire to be a woman of excellence, grace, honesty and truth....A Proverbs 31 kind of woman. I desire to become a successful entrepreneur with partners who are willing to work with me and go the full mile in covenant relationship. I desire the anointing of God to flow from my life and pour on to others lives in such a way that creates miracles, healing and deliverance. I desire to sing praises to God, write books, create art of various kinds that will inspire others to be the best they can be. I desire to be fit inside and out and in every area of my life (mentally, physically, financially, emotionally). I desire to love God with everything I have and with all that I do. I desire to be the BEST mom EVER!!! to my little Princesses. I desire to live a fulfilling life where I take risks and speak up when it's time. I desire a close circle of friends I trust, love and care for. I desire to be RICH, spiritually and financially. Now that I have written my list, I feel more suited to write about a mate...That will be What I Desire Pt. 2.
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
My daughter Karli was born with complications. Glory to God, she continues to grow despite her weaknesses. Many of the complications have impacted her balance and coordination-- however, I praise The Lord for wholeness in every area of her life. We recently moved into an apartment that requires us to go up one flight of stairs. Today going down the stairs she almost fell forward because she was looking up admiring the stars. Gratefully, I was holding her hand and caught her before she actually tumbled down the flight and really hurt herself. As I am typing this I have no clue how to interpret what happened. But the good part is God will catch us when we are off distracted by things that are not sinful, but the timing of our focus can cause great harm to our destiny and purpose. During those times God will intervene, protect us, and redirect us to save us from ourselves and make sure we are on track with His plan. Going up and down this flight of stairs has been a challenge for Karli. At times I wonder if I should have selected a first level space, but I realize her going up and down is building her balance and coordination. The very area of weakness is being challenged day in and day out and she is learning to master the stairs. She is learning to build her confidence and I am right there with her, making sure I give her the support she needs. God is walking us through our challenges as well. The areas of weakness are being confronted so that we can be mature in Christ. Through it all, He is building our character and spiritual muscles. He is perfecting us in our weakness and His grace is sufficient because He will always give us the support we need. I am so grateful to God for His willingness to walk us through.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
It's interesting that we can allow the pressures of life to keep us from the presence of God and then we wonder why we may be felling oppressed and depressed. In His presence is fullness of joy and at His right hand are pleasures forevermore! (Psalm 16:11) God loves us so much and wants to fellowship with us. Our communing time with God creates intimacy...a face to face relationship He has always wanted with His children. Whenever we pray He has a way of restoring all that has been lost. He has a way of making up for the tears that were shed. His ways are perfect. (Psalm 18:30) Seeking God's Kingdom should be priority. If the Lord wakes us up at 5 am, we should get up and meet Him for the revelation, inspiration and motivation. He wants to bless us more than we know...We are the apple of His eye. (Psalm 17:8) The REVELATION could be answers to questions you have been desiring to hear. The INSPIRATION could be how to go about starting the business you have always wanted. The MOTIVATION could be how to finish a project you started but did not complete. When we begin our day with God, the day flows better. We get precious gems and jewels from the Throne Room of God. No matter what comes against us we feel that we are able to withstand it. Greater is He that is within us than He that is in the world. (1 John 4:4) In theses last days, God must stay on the forefront of our minds. He must be our daily food. Sure we need natural food to survive, but we also need spiritual food to survive spiritually. If we neglect such a great salvation (Hebrews 2:3), we cannot expect to grow properly. Jesus said He is the bread of heaven (John 6:51)...He also said if we drink of the water He gives we shall never thirst again (John 4:14). I am realizing now, more than ever, man will fail us. If we look to man to be our security and source, we will be disappointed time after time. We must trust God enough to seek the Kingdom first and everything we need shall be added to us...(Matthew 6:33).
Monday, March 9, 2015
Men and women of God need to fly beneath the radar sometimes. Taking a Sabbath day to rest up and catch your breath is God's desire because we need to recharge our batteries. Other times we may need to get the Word from God because He is speaking. In getting that Word it may mean going away for a couple of days.
When you give up trying to please people you realize that you will never be good enough, smart enough, bright enough, tall enough...because people cannot be satisfied. Something will always need changing and one day you will look up and notice that you no longer recognize yourself. I have been there. In marriage, I stopped being myself and started doing and being everything my family needed and wanted me to be. I believe we should allow for compromise within reason, but changing yourself to meet the needs of others can leave you feeling empty and depressed. I believe God wants us to mature and grow up in Him, but people want you to change based on their needs and those needs hardly ever line up with God's plan. I decided that I want to please God. In that, I believe the people who are apart of God's will for my life will be blessed by those changes.
When you are sensitive you can create a world that only exist in your space. Someone may say something or do something that hurts deeply, but did not see their actions as something to hurt. I was born sensitive, but as I became older I prayed about it and asked God why I was so sensitive? What I received is that my sensitivity is for the spirit realm. My sensitivity is to understand the moves of God. It is for discernment of the atmosphere. The key is when you are sensitive to spirits, you must keep your armor on as a weapon against the enemy otherwise you will be under constant attack without defense.
Thursday, March 5, 2015
The Lord has been speaking to my heart about His time. Do you know that one word from God can change your life? One word from God can make you a millionaire...God's suddenly's are amazing. As we spend time in God's presence His time and our time will collide because He is pouring out revelation faster than we can keep up. There is an open heaven; God is pouring down His revelation, wisdom, and provision.
Tuesday, March 3, 2015
God told me He was removing all witches and warlocks from the pulpit. Please do not think tall hats, brooms, and capes. It's so much bigger than that. This is a spirit of rebellion and lying spirits. The failure in ministry is when we have weakness and we do not yield to God to handle. I never want to sound like I am judging because we are in this spiritual battle together. The problem is when we live double lives. Ministering to people while living in sin is a dangerous situation that God is going to expose. Amen.