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Atlanta, GA, United States
In this season, I will be sharing my heart.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Waiting from a Dysfunctional Place

My parents divorced when I was 6 years old. I was such a daddy's girl too. Being with him was the best thing ever! I remember days when my dad would tell me he was coming to pick me up; I would pack my clothes in a brown paper bag and sit it near the door. I ran to the window every time I heard a car drive into our apartment building--only to find out it was not my dad. I would wait for days with a broken heart and tears hoping he would show up. Sometimes he would--other times he would not. Looking back, I realize now that I learned to wait on people to be present in my life from an early age. Even in relationships that were obviously bad for me, I would settle..I would wait for them to do better and be better when they never had any intentions on changing. This dysfunctional habit of staying even in pain carried over spans of years because I never learned how to walk away. Even after the person had walked away from me...I would still hold on to the idea of what could have been or what I desired to have with them, when I should learned to say, "This no longer serves my life-- I am over it! Good-bye!" Today I gave The Lord my dysfunctional need to continue to believe in someone who doesn't believe in me... To truly let go of the thing or person who let go of me, but insists on staying in my life to bring harm and frustration....I realize no relationship or situation is perfect and there may be times when God wants us to stand still and wait on Him. However, we need to understand the difference and not stay in toxic situations that only bring pain and confusion. My prayer is "Abba, in the name of Jesus, help me to never get tired of waiting on You. Point out when I am waiting in error. Give me the wisdom and discernment to know when I should remain loyal and when I need to shut the door and walk away from dead friendships, dead relationships, dead ministries, and dead jobs that no longer serve Your will for my life. In Jesus name, the Christ! Amen.

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