Trusting God with the Pain

This past week some things happened that hurt. I found myself thinking it over, again and again...feeling the pain, instead of taking it to God in prayer. Then it hit me, I do not trust God with my pain because if I did, I would have handed it over to Him instantly. Instead I want to hold on to it...nurse it and lick my wounds.

Real Talk #1

I decided to wear heels and walking back to the car was beginning to seem like a chore. As soon as my pinky toe began to scream for help, a guy pulls up in a golf cart asking if we were parked across the street in the other parking lot. Let me tell you there were thousands of people walking near us and for him to spot us in the crowd and ask where we were parked was God--especially when my baby toe was screaming. LOL Not only that, but this guy was so fine! He was tall, dark and handsome...I am praying in my spirit, "God help me NOT to lust!" It's so bad because he was nice, handsome and serving at church. Goodness! I am in love with Jesus and I could not help but notice how handsome and single he was. So, as we are hopping off I am like, "Ok nice, thank you for the ride!"....NEXT I take the girls to lunch and the server walks up....dark skin, bald head, fine AND smelling good! Then I started talking to myself..."Lord just let me keep eyes on this menu and the girls..." I don't want to look in his eyes at all. And then we started ordering our food...Now when the food started coming to the table--I began to shift the dishes around and so that he could place the other plates down. He stopped me and said, "I do not want you to lift a finger!" I was like, "Wooooo hooo!" in my head....sounds so good to me! It seems that my type may be tall, dark, handsome, and saved. :)

Unforgiveness

Today on the way to having lunch with my sweet friend BJ...I ended up behind a tractor trailer on the interstate. As I sat there looking at the back of the truck I noticed rust forming underneath the trailer doors. The rust had began to eat away at the truck to the point of holes in the metal...As I stared at it I thought this is what un-forgiveness, bitterness, and resentment does to our spirits. Rust is an example of corrosion. Corrosion means to weaken or damage. Un-forgiveness, bitterness, and resentment acts as poison to the body. We help ourselves when we release people who have hurt us. It is dangerous to have hateful thoughts running through our minds about someone. When we seek revenge it hurts us and removes the Hand of God because we have taken matters in to our own hands. Our Savior knows how to fight for us when we maintain our peace. We have to be able to forgive the person who has not apologized as well. Letting go of ill feelings without an apology shows a level of maturity.

Name Dropping

I worked in the entertainment industry for almost 10 years and was surrounded by famous people on a daily basis, but it was not a big deal--it was a part of the territory. When I moved to Atlanta I noticed many people considered themselves important by association; meaning because they had a relationship with a certain famous individual that made them important. Honestly, it was the most annoying thing EVER! I grew weary of hearing stories about their relationships and picture posting...no shade, but I was like, "I really don't care who you work for or with, just be you!" I will not like you more or less because of who you are connected to....I want to get to know you as a person. If they no longer had that role or relationship, does that mean they are a nobody in their minds? Probably so because they spend so much time making sure everyone knows about their position. Accepting Christ as Lord and Savior may make us a target to the enemy, but it makes us blessed in Heavenly places. We are a royal priesthood and a chosen generation. It doesn't matter what I do for a living that makes me important...having God in my heart makes me important. Not in a haughty way, but in a grateful way. Who we work for or who we know is passing away...a relationship with God is eternal which is the most important thing to have in this life.

We Cannot Ignore

I was sitting at the table struggling with a tangled headset. Initially I thought to just not even bother untangling it, but the determined side of me said, "Let's get it!" So I started in on the process...knocking out the large tangles with precision and ease...But when it came to the small tight tangles, I had to focus and use more effort. In all actuality I considered using the headset with the small knots because it still worked and they were small, no big deal. But then it hit me. Sometimes we will allow those little things in our character that oppose Scripture to remain without addressing them. The little things are not like adultery and fornication, but it is an issue or a flaw that God can clearly help you with like lying, anger and gossiping. Even though you are maturing in God and have yielded to the Holy Spirit with the BIG things, it is the little things that can delay the manifestations of God's promises in your life. Song of Solomon 2:15 says, "The little foxes destroy the vine." We cannot ignore the warnings in Scripture because after while, those little things will nip away at our garden and all of the work that has been done will be ravaged.

God's Promises

I use to be one of those people where if I was going through a difficult time, I would stop believing in what God said He would do for me. I would carry the burden instead of walking by faith. The Holy Spirit has been ministering to my heart about what it means to be laser focused on God's Promises. If you peek through a key hole on a door you can only see what is in the room on the other side of the door; nothing more nothing less. This is how I am suppose to be focused in on God's promises. I have to keep my eyes and heart fixed. I cannot afford for one minute to get into doubt and unbelief. I do not want to be like Moses who saw the Promised Land but because of his disobedience, he did not enter in.

Why Pornography is Bad

A sister in Christ shared with me how she had been experiencing demonic attacks in her sleep. She was being held down and sexually attacked by demonic spirits. Come to find out her husband was struggling with a porn addiction and masturbation. Both of them are intercessors and because they are one flesh in the spirit she was being attacked by the demons her husband opened the door to. Many people reading this might say, "Porn is not a bad thing." But in actuality it is hatched in hell. God created sex, but He did not intend for strangers to come together, create sexually explicit videos and images so that we can watch it for our enjoyment. What is on the rise is it's not just men who struggle with porn women struggle with it as well. Sometimes being single we justify masturbation and pornography by saying, "At least I am not sleeping around." Ok, but that is also a lie from the pit. Another person might believe they are not capable of getting anyone because they are not attractive, what else can they do, but watch porn and masturbate?...Truth be told, another lie from the pit. We are free in Christ, but we cannot use this liberty to commit sin while we are under grace. Sexual sin has to be the biggest and toughest stronghold in the Body of Christ. There was a Christian conference in Texas and many of the attendees stayed at this particular hotel. The hotel reported the highest viewing of pornography that weekend! So sad, but true. Let's look at Scripture: If a man or woman looks on another person as if to lusts in his/her heart, adultery has already been committed (Matthew 5: 27-28). Every sin a man or woman commits outside of the body is a sin against his/her own body (1 Cor 6:18). The Lord wants us to be sexually pure. We have to guard our minds against images that cause us to lust and entice feelings in the heart and mind. Seeing someone naked is reserved for couples who are married. We cannot continue to justify sin. The Bible says, "Submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee (James 4:7). Pornography is not of God. Finally, another popular question in defense of immorality, "What if a couple watches it together?" My question is, "Why do you need to? Why invite those demonic spirits into you home?" God has provided everything we need to enjoy our spouses. There are ways to be creative in the bedroom without violating godly principles.

Unforgiveness

Over 10 years ago, I was in a relationship that I thought would lead to marriage. I was almost certain of it. I loved him, he loved me and we had everything in common-- but the relationship ended suddenly. It was like one day we were together and the next day it was over! No warning or signs pointing to its ending. Shortly after I had a dream. It was a beautiful day. He and I were riding in a cream colored two seat convertible on a long stretch of road. All of a sudden he mashed on the breaks and the car came to a complete stop. We both got out of the vehicle, walked around and stood at the front of the car. As we stood there the road ahead of us had fallen out down into the utter darkness. I looked down and could not see anything. Talk about fear! I was glad he stopped the vehicle otherwise we would have both fallen into the deep dark abyss! To add to the story I went to church and Bishop Noel Jones said, "If God had not ended the relationship, you would have fallen into a deep dark pit!" I was blown away...literally. So after the breakup-- three months later he marries someone he just met. He met her in December and they married in February when I had spent almost a year with him...my heart, my pride, everything...crushed. The love in my heart immediately turned to anger, rage and hatred. I went to God in prayer and He began to minister to my heart in a way I did not want. Everything I wanted God to say, He is not saying-- which means it's time to "grow up". The Holy Spirit instructed me to pray for my brother in Christ. He asked me to cover his new wife, children, and ministry. I refused...I told God no. I did not want to pray for him after what he did to me! But after I got over the emotion...I began to pray. Honestly, I cried as I prayed because my flesh did not want to...through the tears, I spoke blessings over his new family and all that concerned him. The Lord admonished me to pray for him EVERY TIME I had an angry thought regarding the situation. As soon as it came up in my heart, pray. I was obedient. After months and months of being true to the instruction, I looked up one day and it no longer bothered me. I was no longer angry. At the end of the day, God ended the relationship. It was His will for us to go our separate ways and I had to accept it with joy. Finally, after all of these years The Holy Spirit just let me know that it was not true love because if it was I would want him to be happy whether he was with me or not. True love is unconditional.

Sweet Fruit

I don't know if it's just me, but I have not been able to find any sweet fruit in this season. I have gone to Kroger, Publix, and Aldi and have found maybe one batch of sweet strawberries. Every store is selling the same fruit, but none of it is satisfying. Galatians 5:22-26 "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. 25 Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.

Some people want to see you fail

At the end of the day, there are some people out there who want to see you fail. They do not like you and are sitting back waiting on your demise. Jesus said, "If they hated me, they will hate you" (John 15:18). So we cannot be surprised when we feel the persecution from people in the world including family and sometimes in the church. We cannot be surprised when the attacks come because we are dealing with spiritual warfare. The key is to not get into strife and anger with anyone. This will hinder your progress. So, the best way to overcome is by meditating on the word of God, walking in love, praise...prayer and worship.

Freestyling

Normally when I write a post, I kind of have an idea of what I will talk about. Tonight, I have no clue. I did just have a thought of the "perfect life" and then the next thought was "it does not exist". The media has given us this mindset of what is perfect. Married, with two children, live in a nice house and own a dog. Both parents have successful careers and smart kids! Welp, I have not lived that kind of life, nor do I know anyone personally who is living this kind of life. I think the ultimate life lesson and goal is to take lemons and ALWAYS make lemonade because life never ends like our favorite television show. Some men and women may never marry or have children. Some people will face illness. Some people may never own a home or have a successful career. But we have to make the best of what we have and be grateful for our blessings. You would be surprised, even though you may not have everything you want, there is someone watching you and wanting what you have. The older I get, the more I appreciate the lot I have been given by not comparing my life to others. I think it's natural to do so, but it can leave you bitter. Expectations that are not met can feel like failure. But that is where trust comes in. This is where we say, "Ok God... this did not turn out the way I thought, but because I am in You and You are in me, I know things are working out for my best. Just freestyling tonight! It's Friday :).