It's Not Time, Yet

I am a romantic at heart. I love, love. It's a wonderful thing. Some people are going to read this post and think, this girl is "out there"! Honestly, I always have been "out there" since I was a little girl, so I make no apologies for what I am getting ready to say. I met a man on December 23, 2014, exactly seventeen days after my divorce was final. We first talked on Christmas Day. One of the first questions he asked me was, "What are you giving Jesus for His birthday?" That was a question I would ask someone. I laughed on the inside. After we somewhat built a friendship, he suggested we pray after each conversation and I agreed because I love prayer. Another component I appreciate about this friendship is, He always covers my daughters in prayer, our household and all that pertains to us. He never fails to ask how they're doing...and he listens to my concerns about them. Every time we pray, The Holy Spirit shows up and shows out! Such a sweet presence. We sing together...laugh together...but he lives in Dallas, Texas LOL. God has a great sense of humor. He is a bit older, fourteen years, but I like the fact that he is stable. He knows who he is and is not changing it for anyone much, BUT God. After spending so much time together on the phone, sharing our lives...and mostly talking about God I started to develop feelings. As great as all of this sounds, we both agree and I have commissioned this year to pursuing God and His purposes for my life. So, it's not time yet. In addition, I need to become whole in every area of my life before I can imagine myself in a relationship with anyone. I need to make sure I am solid in my faith and that I love myself to not compromise who I am in Christ. Hurt people, hurt people and I do not want to be hurt, nor do I want to hurt anyone.

When it Still Hurts

I cut my my pinky finger trying to open nail polish. Even though it is a small cut, it hurts sooooooooo bad because of where it's located. Anytime I reach for anything and grab hold of it, I feel pain. This pain reminds me that my finger is not healed yet. As I am typing this, The Holy Spirit is reminding me about my heart because there are areas that still require healing. As a human being it is natural to desire a relationship, but if there are preexisting areas in my emotions and heart that are hurting it's best to allow God to finish the work. The warning is if I reach to soon, I will end up hurting the other person or hurting myself. Just like this cut on my finger, I have to take it easy and protect it in order to make sure it heals well. And if I do not protect my finger, this pain will last longer than it needs to. If I do not protect my heart, I will be hurting longer than I anticipated. THE BOTTOM LINE IS: We cannot rush healing. We cannot pretend the pain does not exist. We have to acknowledge our pain and give it to God so that He can tend to it and heal us completely. Definition of heal: Become sound or healthy again.

Cheering Section

When God begins to remove people from your life you thought you needed in order to be happy and successful--it hurts to the core because these are some of the very people who have been with you for years. They have always been supportive, encouraging, and loyal through every trial. Now all of a sudden they are not around. But we have to remember, The Lord is very strategic with His plans. He knows how to position individuals in our lives. Over time, I am learning The Lord makes the shift in our inner circle for the protection of the vision and/or ministry. People can have all sorts of opinions about what you should do and how you should do it and if these same people have influence in your life, He may remove them for a season. Another reason is so that He will receive all the glory and the honor for the blessings, favor, and miracles happening in your life. So don't fret, become depressed or feel alone when God begins the shift. After the smoke clears, you will notice how He will begin to send and schedule DIVINE appointments regarding your vision. Rejoice when people walk away. God is in control and has a "perfect plan". Trust Him. We must move forward without the praise and encouragement of others. Never feel stuck. King David encouraged himself in The Lord and we must do the same. During this season we may not have many people around us but we have a great cloud of witnesses cheering us on in heaven. We have a team of angels surrounding us. You are blessed because of who God says you are and not because of who is with you and what people say about you. Cheering sections can have power over you....But God is intervening now by saying, "I made you and I am giving you the power you need to succeed!" The Lord wants us to fully understand He is with us and we should press forward in victory without the praise and encouragement of others because all praise, glory and honor belongs to God and God alone.

Placing demands during times of uncertainty

Some years ago when I did not understand what was happening in my life, I started placing demands on God. I was bored. I went from work, to church, and back to work again. I did not have a social life. When I was in the world I partied sometimes 3-4 times per week. I enjoyed people and having a great time. Now that I was in church, I wondered why my life had turned boring. I prayed to God because I felt like I would return to the club and hang out with old friends if I did not connect with a group of brothers and sisters in church. Now older in The Lord during times of uncertainty I have learned to pray and trust God with placing demands. It's not easy because I want to work things out on my own, but trusting God during times of uncertainty shows a level of maturity. It says, "God I trust that you are working things out for my good, even though I do not understand what is happening in my life". I believe when we truly grasp the concept of God's love, we will not worry or feel uncertain about anything.

The Best Husband EVER!!!

No matter what I do He loves me unconditionally. He is always there no matter the hour.... He will never cheat on me...100% faithful. He is always on time. He knows my needs even before I ask. He provides for me every moment of the day. He heals me and comforts me when I am sad. He will never walk out on me because He loved me before I loved Him. He was willing to give His life so that I could live forever. He will always speak life, build me up, reassure me of His promises and correct me in love. He always prays and intercedes on my behalf...He shields me from all hurt, harm and danger. He fills me up with good things. He shows me the pleasures in His hands...He is awesome because He is God! ‪#‎Immamuel‬ ‪#‎GodwithUs‬ ‪#‎JesustheChrist‬

Queen of Sabotage

Emotional baggage that has not been given over to God will sabotage every single opportunity and relationship that comes into your life. Soon after you will look up and realize nothing is working out for you and it's not other people, it's you, the Queen of Sabotage. Father in the name of Jesus the Christ, I thank you Lord for healing the wounds in my heart from the past. Holy Spirit, teach me how to not have unrealistic expectations from others. Show me how to set healthy boundaries from the beginning of friendships and relationships so that our interactions are fruitful and functional. God, I desire intimacy, but let it be at the right time and with the appropriate people. Let me not get ahead of myself because of loneliness or desperation. Help me to see every day as a gift and not rush to get to the end of a thing instead of simply enjoying the journey. In my relationships God, I thank you that I ALWAYS understand my value, my gifts, my talents and my abilities. I thank you for the boldness and courage to share my gifts and not hide them under a bushel. Jesus, I am praying that I will never fall into people pleasing to avoid conflict, but that I will walk in the Spirit and confront the issues in myself and in others when it's appropriate. Help me not to over analyze things, people or opportunities, but to trust that I am being led by your Spirit in all that I say and do. In Jesus name! Amen.

Fragrance

Today I went to the gym to work out. I walked upstairs to the elliptical machines, but as I approached I could smell a sweet fragrance. I stepped up to the machine and pressed a few buttons, but continued to smell the sweet fragrance. I realized it was the lady who was working out to my left. She was really getting it in. I was impressed with her intensity. The odd part was, the harder she worked out, the sweeter the scent. I thought wow...that's different! Most people get a little funky during a workout LOL. And then I started to think about our spiritual walks and the fragrance we may leave behind. When people approach us, do they feel love and experience a sweet scent or do they leave feeling a negative spirit? When life goes into overdrive and the trials come are we still sweet or do we get bitter? For me the goal is to endure the hard times without losing heart and without falling out of love with God and myself. Life will deal us difficult times, but we have to maintain our sweet fragrance by trusting God to be with us through it all.