Personal Development

I know it feels intense right now. God is developing you and it feels like you are under severe pressure. But personal development is a constant and conscious experience. It hurts at times and can be challenging because it covers many areas of your life: TALENTS, POTENTIAL, IDENTITY, GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT. Every area contributes to producing a better life and overall realization and success of your dreams. Let God walk you through the process....it will be worth it in the end.

Blurred Vision

There are days I am walking out the door to an appointment and will throw on a pair of sunglasses, only to realize I forgot something back in my room. Instead of taking off my sunglasses, I run and grab what I have forgotten. On my way, I may stumble or bump into things because I cannot see clearly. The Holy Spirit spoke to me and said "That is what habitual sin does to a child of God's spiritual lens". It clouds and darkens your discernment, judgment, and focus. We begin to miss little things...warnings, and the leading of the Holy Spirit. Sin awakens the flesh and all of a sudden you find yourself letting down your guard, arguing and making compromises because the vision has been darkened by a sinful life.

Love Lessons

Growing up, my mom always told me, "Baby, if a man is interested in you, you will never have to wonder about his feelings because he will let you know!" From that point on, I realized what she said was right. Of course you will occasionally run into the "shy guy" but for the most part someone interested in you will make himself present in more ways than one. So, I said all of that to say, if he is in your face saying, "I love you!" Believe him...On the other hand if you are questioning his feelings for you after some time of hanging out, you two may be on different pages and should communicate if the relationship is what you both want.

Freestylin

Freestylin is becoming a habit for me...I am leaning towards Freestylin Fridays...I guess it's a good thing because I never know what the Holy Spirit will speak through me. If I could digress about this week and summer it would be a relief so, I hope you don't mind. :). This summer has been filled with many firsts. Since my divorce late last year, this is the first summer the girls spent an entire month away with their dad. It is also the first time I had to spend their birthdays separate because of our divorce decree and visitation. Along with getting them back into school; including the shopping for school supplies, uniforms, school clothes, Dr's appointments, etc. In the past I have had help, this year it's me and Jesus. I have to be honest...this has been one of the most difficult weeks for me. My body started responding and to top it off, I feel like I don't have any support living here in Georgia. If I needed someone, I only know to call on Jesus because I have no one I can really depend on. There is no support system. In my heart, running back to California is always the answer, but in reality it is not the answer because God led me here for a purpose. There are many projects looming and now I need the strength of God to help me because I cannot do this on my own. I don't want to get into complaining, but this has been my week and summer in a nutshell...However, I am grateful to be alive. As I am typing now, the Holy Spirit is asking me for a solution. It is not enough to type all this and leave it because there is resolve. My action steps: 1). Keep God first. As I seek the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, He will add all that I need. 2). Pray for wisdom. It's unfair to think I can do all I need to do without asking for wisdom from God. He knows all things. 3). Pray for strength. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...which means where I am and what I am doing with Christ I can complete it successfully. 4). It's important to seek God's guidance. It's so easy to launch out and begin to do things that have nothing to do with God's will and purpose for my life. Asking for daily guidance is key to remaining in His perfect will. God close doors that no man can open. God open doors no man can shut. 5). Lastly, accountability. Seeking God for people in my life who I can trust and depend on in time of need.

This ministered to my heart...

I truly feel the need to be transparent today. Several weeks ago I went into prayer. I had so many things on my heart that I wanted God to sort out for me. I sat there in silence and then I began to pray. As I prayed, I could feel that my prayers were divided because I had made some poor choices. Even though I had asked for forgiveness, I was still carrying around the guilt and the shame. As I sat there with my head bowed, God clearly spoke to me...He said "I have forgiven you...If I did not love you and honor your prayer that would make Me a conditional God when I love you unconditionally. However, your choices will carry consequences, but it is a direct response to your actions and not because I am punishing you." The wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ our Lord (Romans 6:23). This is the reality of wrong choices...it's a law of the universe. That is why it is a good idea to choose life every time. We need to make the right decisions that will lead towards God's best. God is love. He does not inflict harm or pain on us when we make mistakes; it is not His nature. He is a loving, graceful Father and His love endures forever. He is perfect, kind and long-suffering...This time alone with The Lord ministered to my heart and confirmed His unconditional love for me. So, if you ever mess up...know God does not stop loving you nor does He punish you for our sins because Jesus paid the price for our past, present, and future sins. As a loving Father, He will discipline His children because He wants us to share in His holiness. Also, discipline can be painful, but in the end it's the lesson we need to grab hold of which leads to a harvest of good living.

Silence is Golden

After going through a divorce, I have heard people ask if I am sure I am ready for a relationship? It's almost insulting because it insinuates that I have not thought about the possibilities or process of being involved with someone new. In this season, I have learned it's best not to talk about your vision, desires or plans because some people will ALWAYS underestimate your ability to carry it out.

Free Stylin'

My idea of freestylin' is just like it sounds. You know how rappers get a beat and they rhyme over it..well, I do not have a beat per se, but I do have a flow. Today, I want to flow with what is coming from me. One of the first things on my heart is about self righteousness. For a long time in my Christian walk, I did not have patience with weak people. I was the one who would say, "Suck it up!" or "Get over it!" AND "It's not that serious!" I was not compassionate or understanding at all. Now a little older and a little wiser and having gone through several ups and downs I know better now that my weaknesses exist in more ways than one. I have this weird ability to justify what I want and what I want to do. I have the ability to manipulate myself and others; a trait in me that I just came to terms with. Instead of living by the book 100% of the time, I opt out occasionally and make excuses to live in the flesh. I make excuses to go off and lose my cool and say, "Well, at least I did not cuss!" Yea that may be true, but I was rude and there is no love in being rude to anyone. This perception of reality eludes me sometimes...I go into this world of fantasy and stay there. It's almost like a cave...dark, with a little sunlight from the outside shining through the opening that is man made. There I am sitting in the dark. It's a choice though. A conscious one because light is available and I simply need to walk into it...That is one thought. The next thought is my view of self preservation. I have been hurt more times than one an shake a stick at...and when I feel that someone could potentially do damage, my hard shell comes over me. I close up. Have you ever watched a rolly polly bug roll into a ball to avoid injury? That dear friends would be me....I know how to protect myself from injury, but sometimes I do it when there is not threat of harm. I roll up and cover myself and there is nothing around to do damage. It may appear to be threatening because my thoughts and feelings evolve from a place of pain and I automatically go in self preservation mode.